The Leadership Scuttle

What exactly does it mean to scuttle your ship? In straightforward terms, it means sinking your own ship. Perhaps you would argue and say, but I will never sink my own ship! Why on earth would I even think of doing that?!

Sometimes we don’t do something on purpose, but we do or react to things in specific ways because of things that happened during our lives. When it comes to leadership, this is something you will most certainly live over and over again. Nothing can sink your ship as neediness can.

I want to lift out a couple of things on your leadership journey for you, and I am inviting you to come and take my hand and see where you are heading with your own ship.

What happens if you have all the goals, ambitions, hopes, and plans, and it’s just not moving forward? Everything seems so perfect, BUT no one is following you! The promotion isn’t coming, and the doors aren’t opening.

Why does this happen? It happens because you have a need for acceptance, which basically comes from a bad relationship with your mother or the central female figure in your life growing up. You never got the acceptance you needed, and now that you are all grown up, you still have that need deep within you to be recognized and be someone. You need someone to acknowledge you or your leadership abilities.

When that need hasn’t been met, you try to have that need met in others like your spouse, the people under you, and so it continues. The only problem is that no one else can meet that need. The more you try, the more you feel rejected and alone.

A good leader knows who they are. They have dealt with that need, and they know that the need cannot be met through others. It needs to come from deep inside of you.

When that need has been met, you are confident, and you can give 100% in any relationship, whether it’s work-related or family. When that need is met, you have an other orientation, and you walk with complete boldness. What is an other orientation?

Having a genuine heart of compassion for others. Caring about their needs and putting them first.

What happens when you still have that need within you?

You lose focus of the goal ahead of you. At the first winds of opposition, you bail out. You allow fear to set in, and your vision becomes polluted and eventually dies. Neediness steals away your life, your purpose, and your goal! You start out with great gusto, but you lose the very vision you had when that need arises.

That is why you need to deal with it. Otherwise, it will work against you, and you will end up going around the same mountain in your life again and again. The best example of a confident leader is to be found in the Bible. The Lord Jesus walked with total and complete confidence. He was the ultimate leader. He was not afraid to stand in His convictions. Are you? Do you have enough confidence to stand up and tell the truth? Or are you fearful of what the people will say or their reaction to it?

When that need has been met within you, it will leave you secure, confident, and walking in love and with clear discernment. When you overcome neediness in your own life, you can be a leader who will lead people where they need to go.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Are you a leader? A leader is focused on meeting the needs of others.

Are you a follower? A follower wants their needs to be met.

Where do you stand in this? Take a deep look at yourself, and see if you still have that need deep within. Perhaps you see it, and it’s so hidden that you didn’t even realize that it’s still there. Are you doomed now to scuttle every ship you lead?

No, you’re not. You can eliminate this self-destruct button and be set free from the need for acceptance. It starts with forgiveness. Real forgiveness towards your mother for not meeting your needs. Choosing to let go of the bitterness and the anger deep inside of you. What ones served you has become a liability now, and it’s time to re-evaluate and let go of the negative emotions that are no longer an asset to your life.

As humans, we tend to either live in the past or the future, but we miss the beauty of the now because of it. Let go of the past. It’s over, and if you don’t, it will scuttle your ship every time. You need to set sail for the new course ahead of you, not look back at what could have been.

Charter a new course with confidence and boldness towards a bright future filled with joy and love. Once you set sail, you will begin to enjoy the sunrises and sunsets, and for the first time in your life, the course before you will have vision and purpose.